Tuesday, December 25, 2007
7:01 PM
Merry Xmas!!
wishing all my friends a blessed n merry xmas.. this short break was really not enough.. lol.. which break was ever enough.. lol.. this xmas i bought myself sth special which i never bought myself b4.. i got myself a running shoe.. lol.. hope this shoe can help me wif my runs in the near future.. lol..
toking abt xmas.. this xmas is the 1st time i'm spending it in a quiet house.. the usual noise lvl reduced significantly since tt day.. wat a quiet n peaceful xmas i have this yr.. not tt its not gd.. its just tt i cant imagine having many more of such xmas.. when it was noisy, i dun feel the joy.. when its quiet, i feel its 2 lonely.. lol.. wat the hell am i thinking man.. it seems tt this xmas is really just anther day (althou as a christian i'm not suppose 2 feel tt way).. nth special is happenening except 4 the booking in later.. LOL..
its been 5 months, n i'll still trying 2 accept the current situation.. the feeling of facing this world alone.. when i lost her almost 3 yr ago, i thot this would b the worse thing i've done.. but now come 2 think abt it, hearing (yes, i wasnt able to even witness it) tt he lost the battle w/o me being able to do anything was worse.. the feeling was just bad.. all i heard from him was thru the phone. the nite b4. it was barely 30 sec.. i always thot there will b a tml.. but 2 bad, tml never comes like he always tell me..
i dun noe y on earth am i feeling like tt on a xmas day.. mayb its just bcos when ur life is so fast paced.. u never have a proper time 2 sit down n think abt things.. things tt mean so much 2 u but u just never wanna put it as 1st piority.. cos there will alwys b sth tt is more impt.. suddenly everyone n everything seems so impt.. everything seems 2 have a reason except 4 urself.. ques everywhere w/o any ans 2 justify dem.. but we just carry on wif life cos we just have to do it..
everything suddenly seems 2 have an image.. playbacks seems so common.. but the same thing just feels different.. it'll never b the same again.. sudden rush of emotions just become so common.. but the face must never show it cos its not expected to show.. there is a standard ans 2 the ques asked by others.. wat else do they expect me 2 say.. all i can do is just 2 assure dem..
but anyway, things will only get better.. if i can overcome the splash.. i'm sure i can overcome the wave.. only such things will make me stronger (except 4 the occassional whining i make here.. lol..) n prepare the road ahead of me.. i'm sure this is the best xmas he has ever given me.. nth compared 2 the material gifts given by any man.. this gift last 4ever in my heart.. thanks DAD!! =)
will b getting my 3rd white bar on the 27th mornging.. wahahha.. 6 more months 2 go.. =) will tell u guys when my vocation is confirmed.. currently is combat e.. zzz..
Why don't u ?
